Wednesday, November 7, 2012


(pictured: lil' Ebner's first taste of freedom)

Being free, the people of the United States of America had a choice. Which were they going to have for dinner, a bowl of cow shite or a bowl of dog shite? It wasn't much of a choice but it was a choice Goddamit and, at the end of the day, what are we without choice? Arabs, that's what.

Anyway, the debate was in full swing. Some people wanted to eat the bowl of dog shite because they liked dogs but others worried about the average dog's diet, arguing that a dog could have eaten anything whereas a cow would have just been eating grass. 'At least we know what we're getting in the cow shite', was the logic that won out for a 'convincing margin' of the Americans who participated in the choice. A sizeable minority of Americans didn't even bother expressing a preference as they thought that shite was shite no matter what creature's arse it plopped out from. These Americans had the freedom to choose not to choose and so didn't choose, which is freedom because, at end of the day, what are we without choice?

So, the choice was made and a bowl of cow shite was laid before the people of the United States and they all began to tuck in. 'If we can just get this cow shite down us then maybe we can have ice cream for dessert', encouraged newspaper opinion pieces and so on and everyone reluctantly lifted their spoons and put the foul stuff in their gobs.

Well, it was their choice and they made it and there was no other option. What other option could there be? Have a think about it. See? Any other option would be absurd. Fundamentally, this was a choice and choice equals freedom. Like us, Americans are free. Arabs aren't free. Arabs don't get to choose and have to eat camel shite all the time, whether they like it or not. They don't get offered an alternative, like goat shite or something. Arabs don't get a choice and, at the end of the day, what are we without choice? Camel shite eating Arabs that's what!
Ahh, Charlie the silly idealist. To view more of Charlie and one of Mr. Fugger's favourite films ever please CLICK HERE FOR CITY LIGHTS!

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