REALM BEYOND REASON

Stars are ghosts of long dead suns haunting the night above us. They are the echoes of things that once existed and witnessed events beyond the realm of our reason. We don't wonder though, we just proceed. I'm taking the dog out for his evening shite or I'm putting out the bins. It's cold. It's dark. It's dead silent but for distant traffic sighing and the wind quietly sneaking through branches. I'm on the surface of this still planet and I might look up. I might notice these shining spirits in the sky. I may momentarily feel comforted or threatened or ambivalent. Then I will look away and I will do what I need to do or watch the dog do what must be done. Then I will go back inside. I will watch my television and it will erase my mind of wonder and blind me to the infinite. A quiz is on. A woman with nice legs is giving away a big cash prize. I won't bother entering the competition even though I know the answers to all the questions. It's trivia from the small portion of the Universe we continually stare at and think about and measure ourselves by, a small portion of the Universe that concerns itself with fame and fortune. The stars in the sky are eclipsed by the stars on the screen. Marvels roll and burst, are born and die, above us and all around us – further than our eyes can see and our minds can reach - but I'm reaching for the remote control. I'm turning up the volume. Fuck the ineffability of the ineffable ineffableness. I'm going to see if I can win this quiz, this quiz that I couldn't be arsed entering. I'm paying close attention and shouting out the answers in a realm beyond reason.

DEMOCRAPCY

(pictured: lil' Ebner's first taste of freedom)

Being free, the people of the United States of America had a choice. Which were they going to have for dinner, a bowl of cow shite or a bowl of dog shite? It wasn't much of a choice but it was a choice Goddamit and, at the end of the day, what are we without choice? Arabs, that's what.

Anyway, the debate was in full swing. Some people wanted to eat the bowl of dog shite because they liked dogs but others worried about the average dog's diet, arguing that a dog could have eaten anything whereas a cow would have just been eating grass. 'At least we know what we're getting in the cow shite', was the logic that won out for a 'convincing margin' of the Americans who participated in the choice. A sizeable minority of Americans didn't even bother expressing a preference as they thought that shite was shite no matter what creature's arse it plopped out from. These Americans had the freedom to choose not to choose and so didn't choose, which is freedom because, at end of the day, what are we without choice?

So, the choice was made and a bowl of cow shite was laid before the people of the United States and they all began to tuck in. 'If we can just get this cow shite down us then maybe we can have ice cream for dessert', encouraged newspaper opinion pieces and so on and everyone reluctantly lifted their spoons and put the foul stuff in their gobs.

Well, it was their choice and they made it and there was no other option. What other option could there be? Have a think about it. See? Any other option would be absurd. Fundamentally, this was a choice and choice equals freedom. Like us, Americans are free. Arabs aren't free. Arabs don't get to choose and have to eat camel shite all the time, whether they like it or not. They don't get offered an alternative, like goat shite or something. Arabs don't get a choice and, at the end of the day, what are we without choice? Camel shite eating Arabs that's what!

Ahh, Charlie the silly idealist. To view more of Charlie and one of Mr. Fugger's favourite films ever please CLICK HERE FOR CITY LIGHTS!