Sunday, July 22, 2012


As regular visitors to this blog know, Fugger is just an everyday girl that likes to do typical girl stuff. For example, these days I can be found reading the popular erotic novel for children 50 Shades of Grey in front of everybody on the bus. All the girls are reading 50 Shades of Grey on the bus. I haven't seen them do it but I know they are because I read they are in a newspaper that I found on the bus.

Anyhoo, it's a great book about a powerful yet vulnerable man and the ass he loves to spank. It's such a good read it has inspired me to write my own erotic novel for children. I don't want my novel to be a rip-off though so I'm adding an Irish flavour to the spanking. My novel is called The Bata and it is about a powerful yet vulnerable schoolteacher and the ass he loves to spank. Would you like to read an extract? I bet you would. Ask me if you can. Go on, ask. Sound like you mean it. Make it sound like you mean it. I want to hear the words come out of your filthy mouth. OK, I'm convinced. You can stop asking. That'll do. It's getting weird now. Seriously, cut it out. Stopped? Good. Right, here, for your pleasure, is an extract from The Bata:

I had been fierce bold and knew Mr. Muldoon would give me a fair few licks of the bata. Oh how I feared yet longed for the bata. 'Hitch up that skirt there now you and we'll see what happens to girls who don't study their catechism', said Mr. Muldoon as he studied my hole with hugry angry eyes. I could tell that there was a frightened child behind those eyes, a child who had taken a few licks of the bata himself in his time. I was looking over my shoulder at him and before biting my lower lip in anxious delight I said, 'I'm a dirty little shite of a girl all the same amn't I Mr. Muldoon?' Oh he went mad at that. The foul language out of me would earn me another six strokes at least. I readied myself but didn't the bells for The Angelus go off and we had to call a halt to everything until we'd recited our devotions. Some might say I was saved by the bell but I wouldn't be amongst them. I relished the knowledge that the bata would be alighting my arse as soon as we'd said a few more Hail Marys and from the lump in Mr. Muldoon's trousers I could tell he felt the same way. Unless that was just the blackboard duster he often kept in his pocket.

Well, what do you think. Did you like it? Did you start pleasuring yourself as you read it? I bet you did. There's no shame in it. I was pleasuring myself as I wrote it. Just remember not to go pleasuring yourself as you read it on the bus. I did that with 50 Shades of Grey and ended up in court having to put €300 in the poor box. Now I'm 50 Shades of broke.


Deirdre de Barra said...

Oh you're nothin' but a hussey Miss Fugger. Though I suppose you'll start gettin' notions what with writing salacious novels an' all and start referring to yerself as Ms. Fugger. Tis more than the bata you'll be needin' to put manners on ye.

Fugger said...

In front of our house, we had this big field, was a mustard field in the summer, and we had a big black dog named Dutchy, and she used to hunt for rabbits in that field. But she couldn't see them, and so she'd have to leap up in this mustard field, look around very quickly to see where the rabbits were, and it was very beautiful. She never caught the rabbits.

Papa Hotel said...

Brilliant stuff Ms Fugger. Although I'm left unsure as to whether I'd prefer to be the arse or the bata or perhaps even the blackboard duster in Mr Muldoon's phóca.