GIANT BABOON HUBERMAN PYJAMAS

I was watching streamed footage of the Large Hadron Collider the other night. The whole thing exploded and this fifty foot baboon with green fur appeared. He had bright yellow eyeballs and in them you could see the whole history of the Universe speedily unfolding in reverse. The baboon was holding a sceptre and set atop it was the head of Buddha and he was weeping. The baboon was hunched, as if to suddenly pounce from the top of a gigantic jewel encrusted turntable that revolved and played the record The O-Men by the band The Butthole Surfers (as mentioned before). The giant baboon’s lips drew back and revealed fanged diamond teeth. He opened his mouth wide and he bellowed the words: ‘FEAR ME, FOR I AM THE GAME CHANGER!’

I found the whole display a tad ostentatious to be honest so I logged on to showbiz.ie instead. Showbiz.ie had a picture of Amy Huberman dressed like a pyjama girl. ‘O.M. fuckin G.’ I exclaimed aloud, ‘what is she thinking?????’

I like to keep my world small. I like things manageable.