HUUUUUUUUUUBERMANNNN!

Like the rest of you, I just can’t get enough of Amy Huberman. It’s a delight to behold such an exceptional talent in such a down to earth, agreeable and non-threatening package. Did you see her in the papers this weekend? You must have, she was in all of them. She’s in some dark film that has dark themes and performances that are dark. She’s not afraid to try new things and stretch herself like an artist or something would. I can’t wait to see her in her new role and can only hope she excels in it as much as she did in The Clinic or in writing that book she wrote or in the society pages of the Sunday Independent or as head girl in school.

I really like the sound of her name too. I like to roll it around in my mouth. ‘Huberman’, I say to myself. ‘Huuuuuuuuuubermannnn’. ‘Huuuuuuuuuubermannnn!’ ‘Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuubermannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!’ It’s a nice name. Nice sounding.

I thought Amy was great when she presented the Irish Film and Televisual Huberman Awards and I thought she really deserved the award for best Huberman on the night. I really liked seeing her presenting the award to herself and kissing herself on the cheek and saying she couldn’t believe she had won the award for the third year running. That was amazing. She really is exceptional. I’d hate it if she retired. It would be awful. I don’t know what I would do with myself. What would any of us do? It would be like Diana Spencer all over again only instead of being wrapped around a Parisian pillar in a fancy car, Amy would probably just be wrapped up in bed in some massive gaff in Dalkey. Still, the loss would be awful and not even Charlene McKenna could fill the gap because she’s a bit too common.

Amy really is great and so down to earth. She’s just a normal girl like me really, only a bit better, a bit more special because she’s on the telly. Amy’s not up herself because she’s on the telly though. She’s very normal. I think Amy’s special appeal can be found when you see her act, or when you read her book, or watch her presenting awards. When you see Amy doing these things you think ‘I could do that’. You think, ‘I could probably do a better job than that’ and I reckon that is what makes Amy so likeable and non-threatening and not a bitch. Please oh please, don’t ever take her off the telly.

Come on now, let’s raise a toast. Let’s raise a toast to Amy. Lift your glass and join me in saying the words ‘to Huberman’. Ah she’s a tonic. I can’t get enough of her. I wonder what she is doing now. I wonder is she on the telly. Is she in any magazines I have lying around? She’s got to be around somewhere, on something, a chatshow or even an ad for a telly programme that will be on later in the week. I need a fix now. Christ, I’m shaking here. I’m going cold turkey. I better go out and get the RTE Guide or something. I need some Huberman before the cramps set in. I need me some Huberman bad. Huberman, Huubermann, Huuuuuuuuuubermannnn, Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuubermannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!