Sunday, February 5, 2012


Ancient Greece is considered the founding bedrock of modern civilisation but was it really all that great? They didn’t even know about chance. The Greeks thought everything happened because individuals made it so or some god made it so. Pure luck didn’t even occur to them. What a bunch of thicks. They even had slavery. What kind of society is that for us to be taking a cue from? The Greeks were so thick they didn’t even believe in brains. They thought that emotions and all that originated in the liver. The liver!!! Fuckin hell. All they had to do was sit around in their togas all day pontificating and that was the best they could come up with.

We are better than the Ancient Greeks. Look at this way: we can go down the shops and buy a ready mix cake that cooks and is good to eat in about three minutes. Did they have that in Ancient Greece? No. They had to spend ages watching their slaves making the dinner. Maybe it was the hunger that made their minds weak and led to all their crap ideas.

Speaking of crap ideas, what about Plato? He said the world should be ruled by a bunch of philosophers on a vow of poverty. The vow would prevent them being corrupted as they made all the decisions. They’d learn to be philosophers at some fancy school. But who would choose and train the first lot of these incorruptible philosophers? I presume the answer would be a bunch of corruptible philosophers. It’s like expecting a wolf to rear a lamb. It’s paradoxical. It’s a paradox. A paradoxical load of shite dreamt up by a dress wearing nonce!

It’s utterly beyond me why people keep quoting Greek philosophers. I mean, haven’t we moved on? Haven’t we grown up as a species? Quoting the maxims of Ancient Greece is a bit like quoting yourself when you were a baby. ‘Well, as I said when I was a baby, goo goo gah gah goo goo.’ What a load of shit!

I’ll wrap up this post with a another baby related analogy: Sticking to the wisdom of Ancient Greece is like continuing to eat a steady diet of Liga biscuits and then crapping them all out in your pants. It just won’t do anymore. It’s time to learn to cook. It’s time we all went down the shops and bought a pack of ready mix. It’s time to grow up people!

No comments: