Sunday, January 30, 2011


(pictured: This guy had a theme tune. So, why can’t we?)

I think every citizen should be issued with their own personal theme tune. This tune would sound out once the person awakes or enters a room for the first time. You could hear a few bars of someone’s theme tune when you passed them on the street. I think it would be very useful in that it would help us gauge the personality and characteristics of the person and help us decide if that person is worthy of our trust, time or effort.

For example, I’d imagine someone accompanied by THIS THEME (click the words ‘This Theme’, it’s a link you God forsaken eejit) would be best avoided and someone with THIS THEME might be good company. Serious types of people would have themes like news programmes. Superficial people would be accompanied by irritatingly catchy advertising jingles. Devout people would sound like the Angelus or the Islamic Call to Prayer.

Now, as we all know, lots of us go around putting on a front. You know the type of thing, skinheads who turn out to be really sentimental or hippy types who turn out to be extremely uptight. Personal theme tunes would not facilitate such deceit. Our theme tunes would ‘out’ us and reveal the inner core of our beings, making suchçades impossible to maintain. Politicians would probably all end up sounding like THIS. The seemingly demure pensioner you let skip ahead of you in a supermarket queue could well end up sounding like THIS. Survival of the shrewdest would be become a thing of the past and we would be forced to live openly and honestly.

We might not be happy with it but we would learn to accept it and perhaps even change over time. As we mature and alter our ways our tunes might change also. Like when they change the theme to a TV show when it comes back for a new series. As it stands, I like to think my personal theme would be something like THIS but deep down I know it would actually be something like THIS. What about you? What would your theme tune be?


Puredaft said...

I'd like to think my theme tune might be something like this:
Which I don't doubt might be heard on occasion while in close proximity to me. More often than not it's probably going to be this:
I am a bit fickle about music so it's probably going to be a different theme every week, if not changing daily..... which kind of undermines your whole thesis...

Fugger said...

You don't get to choose Puredaft. You are allocated your theme. That is the horror of it, or perhaps the joy. It seems yourself and your friend Hilbo have been given a combined theme:

Puredaft said...

I'm Laverne!!!
BTW, since one doesn't get to choose one's own theme, are your choices just mere speculation and who chooses your theme... and who is the ultimate arbiter of themes???

Fugger said...

The arbiter of themes is XAAAANGOR - ARBITER OF THEMES! All shall fear him and abide by his musical appointments. Any complaints can be sent to his office in Bagenalstown.


screw you mother fugger, this is yours

Fugger said...

That's not even music Hilbo. That's just random footage from the weekend myself and my friends spent in Glencree - tripping off our heads on gargantuan portions of mushrooms. We created a barbaric new society. We ran around in nappies firing guns. We said little to each other on the car journey home and if anyone mentions it now we just give them a withering look.

I enjoyed myself though.


red is definitely your colour, good to see the Wicklow mountains are being used for something other than burying bodies.