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Tuesday, January 25, 2011

JOAN BURTON - STRAIGHT TALKING!


Excuse me, excuse me, can I just say that if we don’t let the bill through it won’t exist and, let me be clear on this, we oppose the bill but if it doesn’t exist how do we oppose it? Seriously now, just, just stop interrupting, stop interrupting me and listen, now, can I just say that there are things, things that must be done in order to give back the loan we need to borrow because of things that quite simply must be done and things and let me be clear on this because I didn’t just say that and you can roll the tape back if you want and stop interrupting me because I am a woman and can think for myself like a centrist social democrat and things that must be done and the bill stop interrupting me. Can I just say that the first thing Brian Lenihan has to realise is that things. Excuse me, stop interrupting! Fianna Fáil is now a minority government and the return of mass-emigration is a telling thing that tells of things and I used to live in Africa and I have seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I've watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain and it does not command sufficient support in the Dáil to dictate the order of business. Stop interrupting me! STOP INTERRUPTING ME! We’re not stalling. Can I just say that it is clear that the normal timetable ends at the end of March. I already brought it back to the beginning of March so the timetable is ending before it ends and where did I put my diving flippers? STOP! INTERRUPTING! ME! Can I just say that when I was a little boy I nursed a wounded seagull back to health like Trotsky or Mao wouldn’t but stop interrupting me because I am a woman and a budgetary crisis was brought on by the disastrous economic policy that followed so excuse me but do you want an answer to the question or do you just want to harangue me dear minister deputy mister minister MEPship thank you mister minister mister man mister maaaaan and I will not open the pod bay doors Dave so stop interrupting me, STOP INTERRUPTING ME! And can I just say that I did not just say that and you can say that I did say that and you can roll the tape back and even if I did say that can I just say that I didn’t because we are in the business of creating solutions to the people and solutions so wounded seagull diving flipper spice burger snack box Large Hadron Collider two onion rings and a can of Lilt to table nine please deputy. Deputy? Deputy? You used to be called Joe and STOP INTERRUPTING ME! And can I just say that I didn’t just say that. Please God, tell me I didn’t just say that!

3 comments:

SUPERHILBO! said...

If only Joan would distract and sprout some poetry along with her chitter on 'things', it would be easier to listen to. I think bring back the public gallery where people can roll in with tomatoes, spuds, and cream pies and throw them at any member of the Dail that engages with boring, ranty and dragged out speeches. Hell, bring in Sarah Palin for the day to jazz it up! Juggling and magic tricks are always welcome.

Puredaft said...

There's no way Joan Burton would be able to quote Rutger from Bladerunner, or Hal....
...Ahhh....Rutger Hauer,*sigh*...
Way to fuck with a seminal cinematic moment, good job you're a funny bastard to get away with that sort of carry on. I realise that last sentence may get me moderated.

...but then, I'll know... I'll know.

Fugger said...

I think the houses of the Oireachtas should just comprise of TDs and senators weeping to this tune:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KkObnNQCMtM

...as the general public shake their heads resignedly and display portraits of emigrants from the gallery.

As for Blade Runner, I have no idea what that is. I'm merely presenting a transcript from Monday's Vincent Browne programme.