NOUGHTIES - Highs n' Lows!

Joe (Hulk) Joyce - 2009 was his year.

Another decade over! Already? Wowsers! Well, I guess it's time for Fugger to round up the highs and lows of the Noughties (just like they are in the Sunday supplements and on TV shows with insightful contributions from people like Blaithnaid Ni Chofaigh or Stuart Maconie etc. . .)

HIGHS:

Barack Obama: At last, a black candidate who won't turn the White House into a crack house. Could we really have said that for Jesse Jackson?

Blogs: Thanks to the outlet provided by blogs and Internet forums, killing sprees are down by 15%.

Marley and Me: Jen Aniston and a big old cuddly lab. What's not to like? This decade's answer to Dunston Checks In.

Live8: Trade justice for all and Coldplay too? What an afternoon! Take that Black Bloc!

Madonna Cares: Madge strikes a pre-emptive blow for altruism by adopting orphans before they are even orphaned! You go gal!

Joe (Hulk) Joyce: Congrats to Joe (Hulk) Joyce on becoming King of the Travellers after knocking lumps out of lads in a car park in West Meath. Now tell us Joe, was that Ms. Glenda Gilson we saw on your arm during the Marie Keating Foundation Christmas fund raiser?

Dr. Who Returns: Always loved this show! Hid behind the sofa when the morlocks came on. John Leslie for the Doctor in the Twenny-tens, the campaign starts here!

Susan Boyle: On first sight we thought she should be gassed but then we heard her beautiful voice!

New Bond: Craig Fairbass finally gets the keys to the Aston Martin. Gritty.

Hitler Still Dead: Yay!

LOWS:

9-11: Tragic. Watch them babies fall! No more of that please Mr. Bin Laden!

SARS/Bird Flu/Swine Flu/Ebola: I think I've got the sniffles!

Paedophile Priests: Hey! Hands off Padre!

The Death of Diana: OMG! The car was like completely wrapped around that pillar!

The Death of Michael Jackson: He died too? Wowsers!

Recession: Enough already!

Floods: From Sallins to New Orleans . . .glug glug!

Keano in Saipan: This was our Iraq.

Iraq: We're like sooooo over it now!

Africa: Are you still here?

Well that was the Noughties now let's get ready for the Twenny-Tens and the dawn of the Quantum Age! An era when we realise that 'reality' is just a selective cognitive macro level interpretation and that petty emotional and financial schemes amount to less than nothing when faced with the incomprehensible maelstrom of subatomic lunacy that is the true fabric of the Universe! OMFG! It's gonna be nuts! LOLZ!