Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Missing: Little Agatha 'Aggie' Bainbridge!

I'm really engrossed in the unravelling tale that has followed the disappearance of Little Agatha 'Aggie' Bainbridge from her home in Basingstoke one month ago today. It is a true tragedy but it is also so much more than that. I couldn't say it better than Take A Break magazine when they wrote of events, 'if you wept for young Maddy then you'll bawl for Little Aggie'. TV Quick agreed saying, 'it's devastating, tears are streaming down my face, I can't turn the television off'. But it was The Star that reminded us of the gritty yet equally relevant aspects to the case when they wrote 'Child Cannibal Claims Fifth?' All possibilities must be kept open. This is a sorrow shrouded in mystery.

Sky News featured a lovely piece about a young girl, around Aggie's age, who made an ingenious diorama of the crime scene in the hopes that it would refresh the memories of those who were in the area that day. She won a prize. We can only feel for the British nation as it clutches its commemorative dolls and tea towels to its chest. (Besides the sad image of little Aggie and the words 'bless her little heart', the tea towels are also helpfully emblazoned with the phone number of the confidential police hotline.) Little Agatha 'Aggie' Bainbridge truly is this year's Holly and Jessica.

Of course, I'm beginning to slightly resent the mother, Janet Bainbridge. I hate to say it but she doesn't seem that bothered. Where are her tears? Where is the anguish? They say she bought new shoes for the press conference and is selling pictures of her new patio to Hello. Where are her priorities? I would never come right out and say that she had something to do with Aggie vanishing but she has the look of a woman with secrets to hide, a bit like a murderess might.

'You'll come for the sadness but you'll stay for the mystery of Little Agatha 'Aggie' Bainbridge', reads the blurb on the back of a new book entitled Missing Angel that has been appropriately prompt in reaching the market. Tony Parson's concurred when he described the events as 'fantastic viewing' on BBC2's Late Night Review. On the same show Ekow Eshun said the coverage was 'tawdry' but 'a guilty pleasure nonetheless' before saying something about the semiotic significance of Aggie's Peppa Pig hair clip that was found two days into the exhaustive search.

Let's hope there is a breakthrough soon. Little Agatha 'Aggie' Bainbridge TM will remain in all our hearts for the next good while at least. I better stop typing now because I want to log on to the forum and see if anyone has replied to the remarks I left about Janet's choice in blouse when she gave today's statement.


John Robbins said...

Good news: ITV in collaboration with Hampshire Constabulary have launched How Do You Solve A Mystery Like Our Aggie?, a series which will document the search for a look-alike to play Aggie in an official reconstruction of her last known whereabouts. With a judging panel comprising Janet Bainbridge, former child actress Bonnie Langford (now dead), Matthew Kelly and another registered sex offender, the show has been devised as a comeback vehicle for children's tv presenter Timmy Mallet. Says Mallet (with raised, pumping fist): "Aggie, Aggie, Aggie! Oi, oi, oi!"

The show is scheduled to run 15 weeks. "She's already missing a month," say show producers. "Another 15 weeks is not going to make much difference."

Anonymous said...

Well, that sounds great John. At least Aggie's sad abduction will result in a franchise that generates viewing figures, income and jobs in these difficult times. Clouds and silver linings and all that. Going forward.