Friday, May 4, 2012


Alarms wail and people flee and scream. There's a tornado coming. Gigantic. Majestic. With an utter disregard for the concerns of the bourgeoisie.

I think tornados are beautiful things. I think about them all the time. I love them. I am 'in love' with them. I get crushes on them. I am often shy and clumsy in their presence. I asked one out for a drink once but, who was I kidding, the tornado didn't even know I existed and just kept moving.

If a tornado were to approach now my mouth would become dry and my eyes would be agog. 'Check out the stovepipe on that!' I would run toward the tornado, declaring my adoration. I would be swept up by the tornado. The tornado would turn me around and around. Rapidly. Over and over. My heart aflutter. I would rise up high through the tumult and be delivered into a calm spin cycle, gently revolving amongst the clouds. The noise and chaos beneath me. Trailers, discarded bikes, road signs, abandoned pets and livestock passing by me. Transcended. Ascended. Heavenly. I am hers. I am hers until she tires of carrying me and drops me back to earth. Hard. And my limbs will break and my neck will break and my back will break and my heart will break and I will probably die. But, it will have been worth it. What a ride!


Deirdre de Barra said...

Right. I'll watch Twister later.
I've been fretting over your choice of 'meteorophilia' to describe the ol' unrequited. Went on a bit of a foray and discovered that 'meteorophilia' is the love of meteors. Which is nice. It is however wholly inadequate to describe your particular affliction. I couldn't find a '-philia' specific to tornadoes. Ombrophilia is a love of rain, which at a pinch might do, but is lacking a certain grandiosity.
So I figured you needed a new word that captured the 'Grand Amour'that has you so enraptured.
'Tempestas' is the latin for weather; 'amor tempestate', the love of weather...
So, my friend, it would appear you have a severe bout of 'Tempestatophilia'.
Which to my mind more fully and accurately captures the tempestuousness that you describe.
Now, I'm thinking Twister would be a bit of an anticlimax.

Fugger said...

Well, I was attempting to combine the word -philia with the word meteorology in a death defying display of wordplay.

Meteors have a certain allure too it must be said. A certain mystique. I'm sure they are pretty boring once you get to know them though. Bit of a "swoooosh" and then it's all burned out.