You should visit those new time portals Damien Hirst has installed in the Tate Modern (sponsored by Unilever). You just walk through and you end up in a different time in history. You can watch the events taking place around you and no one from the past even notices because of the perception filter. It's like you're invisible. He's clever that Hirst fella. I went to see the nazis because the queue for the dinosaurs was too long and I'd already seen JFK getting shot loads of times on telly. I have to tell you, the atrocities were terrible. Absolutely shocking. All I could do was stand there and watch. I would have twittered about it but the ushers made me turn off the iPhone. Anyway, I got the gist of all the horror after about fifteen minutes and returned to 2012 for a coffee and a slice of carrot cake (not bad, bit pricey). What I'd witnessed really made me think about human nature and death and that. I was thinking about it all during my coffee and carrot cake and I even got a poster in the shop. It had Hitler on it and all the jews and everything. I was going to put it up in the hall when I got home but it was a bit full on so I gave it to my brother as a present instead.
'Look what I brought you back', I said.
'Oh, right, . . .grand', he said.
His place is a lot bigger than mine. I'm sure he'll find somewhere for it.