Tuesday, August 24, 2010


That's her to your right.

I was chatting to this guy I kind of know the other day. I was telling him what I'd been up to, my opinions on this and that and a bit of personal stuff about my upbringing and so on. Actually, I started coming out with quite a bit of personal stuff and I'm not sure why. It wasn't a conscious thing but maybe, on some deeper level, I was trying to draw him out, innately assuming that conversations work on a quid pro quo basis. I'm not sure what I was at to be honest but I continued on, encouraged only by the odd 'hmm' or 'I see' on his part.

I realised things had gone too far when I found myself telling him about my attraction to Sophia, the puppet from the Dolmio sauce advertisements (a felty lust pot and no mistake). When this staggering revelation received another paltry 'hmm' in response I exploded. 'LISTEN YOU F****R!' I roared, 'I NEED SOMETHING BACK HERE! SOCIAL DISCOURSE IS ALL ABOUT GIVE AND TAKE! QUIT HOLDING YOUR CARDS SO CLOSE TO YOUR CHEST AND PLAY THE GAME OR F**K OFF!'. 'Well, that told him', I said to myself as I stormed out of the confession box, slamming the door behind me.

IN Other News: MORE CRAP MAN can be found at the link below. . .

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