Sunday, March 21, 2010


Fugger has long been dismissive of Cryptozoology and its practitioners. Put simply, there is no such thing as Big Foot, Nessie or the Kuupachadós (or whatever they call that goblin that hassles goats in Mexico). When Fugger pictures a Cryptozoologist, Fugger imagines a profoundly unmarried man with a tartan flask and mini-DV camera, sat on a fishing stool in the freezing cold waiting for something to come along and change his life that isn't going to come along and change his life. After several hours of this, Fugger imagines the Cryptozoologist retreating to a nearby hostelry, scanning his footage and finding nothing. A discarded plastic bag snagged upon a hedge will be faintly visible in a couple of grainy frames and the Cryptozoologist will, upon repeated viewing, slowly convince himself that this is actually Kuupachadós afterbirth or something. Up to recently, Fugger has considered Cryptozoology nothing more than a kind of existential disorder and overall expression of discontent/boredom (a bit like keeping a blog). That is until I saw the recent footage of Protestants.

We've all heard about Protestants. Like the faery (who were once the proud Tuath De Dannan) Protestants are a mythological race of people once said to have ruled Ireland. Since their banishment at the hands of John Charles McQuaid, Protestants are now said to be shy creatures, daring only to creep around the twilight peripheries of existence. For a while now, Irish Cryptozoologists have argued that Protestants actually exist and may be a form of primitive man, a 'proto-Catholic' or something that chose a different evolutionary path at some crucial stage. As expected, these theories have met with derision, that is, until now. I invite the blog reader (a.k.a. You) to click the link below and view some astonishing footage.


It seems to Fugger that this could be no trick of the light. Sleight of hand also seems a remote possibility as I have had the footage analysed by Windell's Tech Division expert Prof. O'Shea (Ireland's heaviest baby circa 1978) and he has removed all possibility of post-production tampering. I think it is time Fugger, and society at large, viewed the once ridiculed school of Cryptozoology in a new light. It seems Cryptozoologists may have produced findings as shattering as Darwin's and, when you think about it, might not Darwin have been considered a Cryptozoologist in his day?

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