Saturday, September 14, 2013


The world can be a bit of a ride at times. The sea undulating, heaving, sighing. A lovely wet thing stretched out under the moonlight. Tresses of foliage, rustling. A sensual breeze whispering in your ear. Limbs of wind and kisses of rain, embracing and caressing you. Both teasing and giving at once. A terrestrial tart, in the nicest possible sense you understand. An irresistible expanse, open, welcoming, waiting… OK, I better stop myself there. Jesus though, it’s a wonder we can manage to put the constant and overwhelming presence of the world to the backs of our minds so as we can get on with the mundane aspects of living.

Don’t get me wrong, the attraction I’m describing is purely aesthetic, well mainly. I don’t want to fuck the planet or anything. I don’t want to dig a hole in the soft earth and slip the lad into it. That’s not my thing at all. I swear. But a ride is a ride and the world can be a bit of a ride at times. That’s all I’m saying. You won’t find me in some forest wrapped around the plants, indulging in some kind of agrestal amour. Ah no. That’d be like dogging. It’d be sleazy. I don’t want to seem sleazy. I just want to delight in the whole situation. You know, nothing wrong with that. Just to enjoy the surroundings, the interplay betwixt earth and organism. Maybe wipe myself off on a leaf after. No one will ever know. No one will see.

I just hope I don’t get my heart broken though. I just hope the world doesn’t tire of me or turn its back on me or suddenly start rotating in a new direction - throwing buildings, roads, and cities up into the air. Leaving the remains of our wonderful union scattered and floating in cold space - artefacts of a profound romance diminished to space trash - fading signals of sweet nothings reduced to faintly echoing recriminations. I’d hate for the world to come to regard me as little more than an expeller of carbon emissions that it once made the mistake of getting involved with. It’d be truly tragic if the planet only recalled my presence when it came across one of the many landfills left in my wake and thought to itself, ‘oh Jaysus, what was I thinking getting mixed up with that prick?’ I think that would be a sad end to our cosmic coupling. Yeah, I think I’ll start making an effort to leave the world with more to remember me by than a dirty great footprint. I hope something good comes of our time together. I hope it’s not too late. After all, if it came to a break up the world could always move on but me, well, like the rest of you, if the world finished with me I’d be truly finished.

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