Seeing as there is all this palaver over the resignation of the Pope and the appointment of his successor, I thought I'd check out the prophecy of Saint Malachy - the 12th century Irish archbishop who foresaw all the popes to come, from his days to the last. I have to admit, I was more than a little shocked at what I read. Here's what he had to say in full...
'Scarlet and purple pontiffs of the paedophile protectorate dither and deliberate all you will, it makes no difference for your days of luxury, hypocrisy, and simony are at an end. The Terrible Judge is cometh and the city on seven hills will be laid low. Even a dancing puppet of a John Paul II 2.0 couldn't help you now. You conclave of curs. You preservers of inequity. You propagators of prejudice and of shame.You least loved by He who loveth even the least lovable of things. You sucklers of Babylonian whore tit. You gelatinous celebrants of secret sem(e)nary trysts. You hateful birds in unclean cages. You foul spirits in a habitation of devils. You tabernacle befoulers. You covert worshippers of the Beast. You appalling shower of cunts.
The Terrible Judge is coming. He is coming and He has got His boots on. The earth shall shake a warning beneath the feet of all nations. Heed too the herald Pan-STARRS above for lo' tis with the fiercest of lightening you will soon be struck. Ecclesiastical arses will be booted skyward and the flock shall gasp and weep but then cheer upon enlightenment.
Admonito! Admonito! Novus Pontificus Maximus Diabolus - Petrus Romanus - Decepticon Megatron. Optimus Prime shall be amongst us anon.
Now, as far as I can make out, this means that either End Times are immanent or Transformers 4 is going to be really really fuckin good.