(Pictured above: Rosanna Davison)
I was a bit cheesed off to hear the government announce that nothing good is going to happen again, ever. The Taoiseach just came right out with it. ‘We’ve used up our entire stock of good fortune at the International Karmic Reserve’ he grunted to the nation, ‘the good times are over’. I certainly didn’t use up all my good fortune. The nation’s supply of the stuff must have been drained by others. People like Rosanna Davison probably. The sort that are always beaming out from the pages of Sunday supplements. Big scary smiles on them. Obviously O.D.ing on something.
Dobson took it bad. He was interviewing the Taoiseach on the 6-1.
‘Are you sure Taoiseach, no more good things ever?’ asked Dobbo.
‘No. Nothing good. Not even stuff that is normally wonderful will be good. All babies born from now on will be mistakes, all romances will be half-hearted flings and all victories will be pyrrhic’ answered the Taoiseach before going on to remind Dobaroo (who, by this time, was inconsolably sobbing) that despite it all, the future will not be entirely bleak.
‘We may no longer have good,’ said the Taoiseach, ‘but we still have OK. Things will often be bad but they will also, sometimes, be OK. So we have OK to look forward to.’
You know, when you think about it, not all that much will change. Let’s face it, most stuff was just OK anyway. There’ll still be OK films and pints of Guinness. Most human experience will remain about the same, especially the experiences we pay money for. Those kinds of experiences were never all that great despite being the most treasured and talked about. I’m not sure we even liked the good stuff. So, it’s not like we are going to lose anything that really matters to us at the end of the day. It’s not like all the shops will close down. We’ll still be able to get stuff.
Rosanna Davison will probably still beam from the Sunday supplements. Who needs
good things when we can pretend things are good? Sure, isn’t that what most of us were at anyway? Yeah, it won’t be too bad. Chin up. Best foot forward. Here’s to the OK times.
In fact, here’s an OK CRAP MAN!