Wednesday, February 10, 2010

George Lee State Funeral

George Lee TD (2009 - 2010)

George Lee’s state funeral took place today. People who compulsively write to the Irish Times and the middleclass burghers of Dundrum solemnly lined the streets as the cortège passed by the ‘Town Centre’*. The procession then turned up the Kilmacud road, travelled on to Stillorgan before pausing a while in Donnybrook so Mark Little could say a few words on ‘dedication’ and ‘prescience’. ‘He was our Cassandra, our Obama, our latter day Collins on the battlefield of economics but he was taken from us. Like ‘the Big Fellow’ was, like Obama undoubtedly will be, George Lee was taken from us too soon, . . .too soon,’ said Mark before breaking down. ‘Too soon, too soon’, echoed those gathered in a plaintive refrain. ‘Why did he have to go? He’d have brought change. He was on the telly for God’s sake’, sobbed Mark before finding consolation in the embrace of an equally distraught Sharon Ni Bheolain. Also overcome with emotion, Olivia O’Leary darted from the crowd. Clutching George’s vestments, O’Leary collapsed onto the roadside wailing. She was then joined by Miriam O’Callaghan, Bryan Dobson, a metrosexual that presents The Den, Twink and someone off The Clinic. Combined, these garment grasping grovelling mourners made for an emotionally wrought tableaux worthy of Caravaggio.

The proceedings concluded with George arising from the back of the hearse, waving a final farewell to the assembled throng and ascending through the gates of Montrose. Amen.

(*now a subsidiary of Community Hubs TM: . . .Because We’re Watching You!)

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