Rock mainstays Status Quo are releasing a brand new album this week. Fugger jumped on Skype to grab a few exclusive words with band leaders Francis Rossi and Rick Parfitt.
FUGGER: So what can we expect from the new disk?
FRANCIS: Basically it's the same as last year's 'best of' album but with the songs in a different order. Oh, and we've left out that In The Army Now one.
RICK: We wanted to have it out for Christmas, y'know, something for Dad's stocking, but the Chinese mucked up the consignment or something.
FRANCIS: It's all the usual hits, people know what to expect.
RICK: People like to know what they're getting and we like to give them that.
FUGGER: So, no surprises then?
FRANCIS: No. No one likes surprises. We're not into pulling all sorts. We have a good thing going, or at least good enough. Both ourselves and the audience know the parameters. It's just a good time in an appropriate environment and everyone's back at work the next day. No harm done.
RICK: We'll leave the surprises to Kate Bush.
FRANCIS (mutters): Bloody nutter.
RICK: Everyone likes to rock but you can't go rocking the boat, someone might go overboard.
FRANCIS: The whole boat might capsize and then we'd be at the mercy of large ocean waves and mad fish. It'd be horrific.
RICK: It'd be weird.
FRANCIS: No one likes weird.
RICK: Best to keep things on an even keel.
FRANCIS (to Rick): We were going to call the band that, remember?
FRANCIS: Even Keel.
RICK: Oh yeah.
FRANCIS: Anyway, it's basically just about having a bit of fun. Three chords. Nothing too heavy. Let off a bit of steam and then back to work. It's like a game of squash or something.
RICK: Yeah. If people want to change the world they should go and explore a jungle. That's not what the rest of us want, this band, our fans, everyone.
FRANCIS: It's just a laugh between shifts. We keep the head down, bash out the riffs and try not to get too carried away or make twats of ourselves. We don't get that look you might get. The look people give the likes of Kate Bush.
RICK: Or Hitler.
FRANCIS: Not that we're saying Kate Bush is as bad as Hitler but that's where it all starts, y'know, trying something different.
RICK: Yeah, you're trying something different and next thing you know, POOSH, six-million Jews, all dead. We're not into scaring the horses.
FRANCIS: We like things stable.
RICK: We like a stable stable.
(Both look to each other and loudly laugh).
FRANCIS: Oh, nice one Rick.
RICK: I just thought of it, (snaps fingers) like that.
FRANCIS: Anyway, it's a good album. The fans know the procedure.
RICK: People like procedures.
FRANCIS: That's what we were going to call the band, remember?
FRANCIS: The Procedures.
RICK: Oh yeah.
Francis clears his throat and adopts an assertive demeanour, leaning forward.
FRANCIS: Look, it's like this, we've got kids. Those kids need dental work and the dentist has to be paid. That's the real world. That's the size of it. You've got to think of the kids and not go mad.
RICK: Yeah. It's all about the kids at the end of the day.
Satus Quo's new album, 'Exactly What It Says On The Tin' is in shops Friday.