Wednesday, November 4, 2009
FOR THE LADS!
Thought it was about time this blog was put to some practical use so here are reviews of some recent releases from the world of adult entertainment.
A medieval theme to this one. Problematic ex-child look-a-like Sasha Grey adopts attire akin to a tarty wench circa 1200AD. She is loaded into a large catapult device, launched from a turret over battlement walls and lands in a moat of man juice.
Overall Verdict - Disconcerting.
GANG BANG, THANK YOU MA'AM:
It's hard to know if there's actually a woman in most of this one. It's really just a sea of undulating gonads and what have you. The camera man seems happy enough but all the wobbling hairy arses etc. put me off my dinner (I like to eat in front of the laptop, which guests and family members find anti-social but, y'know, it saves time). I think I saw a girl's toe amongst the scrum at one stage but it's hard to be sure. The toe may have belonged to the girl who featured at the start of the movie. She was very pretty but seemed a touch slow. I may have heard her a few times during the action too. She was saying something about being a 'naughty slut'. Strangely, Popeye's laughter also seemed to permeate the soundtrack???
Overall Verdict - Discombobulating.
Daphne and Monica (two of my favourites) whack the crap out of each other with an assortment of objects that include table tennis bats (good), yard brushes (disturbing) and dustbin lids (quite sexy). There is also a bit where Daphne fires a flare gun at Monica, which is downright irresponsible behaviour when you think about it. The film seems to be in Dutch with Lithuanian subtitles which is odd as both Daphne Delites and Monica Havens are American ladies.
Overall Verdict - Harmless Fun.
When people complain about adult entertainment being 'exploitative' they should bear in mind the amount of people that go on from this genre to make something of their lives. Did you know that 32% of practising marine biologists are former porn stars? Also, both the world of orthodontics and the legal profession are chock-a-block with familiar faces that got their start in adult entertainment. Gives new meaning to the phrases 'open wide' and 'send him down' doesn't it? (Insert 'LOL' here)
P.S.: I also watched THIS ONE recently. It's awful. I couldn't even get anything going at half mast.