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Wednesday, January 23, 2013

BACKWARDS FORWARDS


and now I'm here again, yes, I'm back and I'll tell you how I came to be back in the next post but for this post I want to tell you about something I witnessed on my way back. On my way back (from a place that defies description because it isn't even there) I passed through several planes that contained possible realities that could have come to be if it wasn't for the fact that they didn't. One such reality caught my attention. A reality where the following took place...

This wealthy corporation invented rear view mirrors for pedestrians but pedestrians didn't want them because pedestrians didn't need them so then the corporation made ads and movies with 'cool' and 'glamorous' people walking backwards and made the ability to walk backwards a bit of a cultural status symbol and the inability to walk backwards a bit of a social stigma so, after a time, not too long a time, everyone wanted to walk backwards and then, to help them do it safely, the corporation sold everyone rear view mirrors.

Sales were staggeringly good. Shares in the corporation shot up and people were employed in the production, the selling, and the exportation and importation of rear view mirrors for pedestrians - and related products. In short: walking backwards was good for the economy and made fiscal sense. Everyone was happily walking backwards to work and then happily walking backwards to shops to spend their wages on rear view mirrors and rear view mirror paraphernalia - like rear view mirror polish and rear view mirror ornamentation. (People liked to decorate their rear view mirrors in different ways in order to express their individuality. Having said that, only a hand full of decoration designs were considered desirable. The rest were considered to be lacking 'that certain something' required by the vast majority of people. So, the vast majority of people all expressed their individuality by purchasing the same select hand full of decoration designs. Maybe it was belonging they were after and not individuality. Who knows? People eh? They're a funny lot.)

Anyway, everyone was happy and after a generation or two they all forgot how to walk forwards. They even forgot why anyone would want to walk forwards and actually considered walking backwards to be walking forwards. To these people, not walking backwards would be a perverse and/or insane thing to do. Rear view mirror sales never abated. The economy thrived. Going forward.
So, what do you think of that? Seem familiar? Surely not. Such batty fuckin behaviour could never become the norm in our reality. Heaven forbid! Heavens to Betsy! And who is Betsy anyway?
...So many questions. We shall answer all of them together or die in the attempt. I'll start by answering a question no one asked. The question is: 'what happened to Fugger after last time?' But I've run out of time so to find out what happened to Fugger after last time join Fugger next time.

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