I had a nightmare about a tiger last night. I was throwing rocks at it and trying to keep it away but I was running out of rocks. I'm not sure what it all meant. My telly license is overdue and they sent another letter so it's probably just something to do with that. Imagine being mauled by a tiger though. Seriously, could you imagine it? You'd be torn apart. It'd be all flashing fangs and claws, inches long. The noise out of the thing too, the roaring and growling, it's like an engine. And the strength of it! Jesus. It'd be like getting caught up in a combine harvester. You'd feel the flesh being ripped from your body. A tiger's paw is bigger than the average human head. It could knock your head right off your neck if it wanted to. Holy fuck, seriously, it's horrific. You wouldn't stand a chance. It doesn't bear thinking about. Why did you even bring it up in the first place? I really wish you hadn't to be honest. It's enough to give you nightmares.