Wednesday, September 8, 2010


My Anglo suggestion: Divide Anglo into three banks. One will be a Bad Bank (‘fucking hopeless’ if you will) which will borrow money from a second bank (a Good Bank) that will obtain its funds via the recovery of borrowings acquired by a third bank (or Mad Bank). The idea is to have Anglo borrowing money from itself and recapitalising itself with the money it borrowed into infinity, forming an endless loop or eternal mirroring effect that will eventually trap the bank in a kind of Phantom Zone like the one they used to imprison General Zod in the Superman movies with Christopher Reeve going forward.

Furthermore, if my suggestion is acted upon immediately we may see positive results sooner than we think due to the fact that the planets of our solar system recently aligned into the shape of a cross, heralding an exciting new era in banking and high finance logic.
Are you with me?
Do you follow me?
It may seem incomprehensible at first, perhaps a smidgeon overly ambitious, but we must hold true and not lose our nerve at this crucial juncture. The world is making a new kind of sense now and this post-rational era demands imaginative responses and death defying leaps of faith going forward (and backward, all at once) and I for one am fully committed to this approach as it will doubtlessly see our nation around this next corner or whatever the fuck and it should only cost another 70 billion so go back to sleep now plebs.


Matt Pidgeon said...

This is just the kind of blue sky thinking that we need to get us out of our financial pickle. In case it doesn't work we should also investigate the possibility of time travel. Of course we don't have an actual black hole to assist in this but if we sat Mary Harney on the board of Anglo then the combined gravity effects might just be enough to sneak us all back 3 or 4 years which would give us time to sell the country before we get into any kind of soft landing scenario.
At least that's what the Financial Times seems to suggest.

Fugger said...

Yes, you're right, Harney is a ride.