HABEAS CORPSE

U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder was right to point out that the constitution of the United States of America doesn't guarantee citizens 'judicial' process. No, it guarantees them 'due' process. Now, are you going to claim that Ibragim Todashev didn't get what he was 'due'? Were you there? He was going to attack those FBI guys with a knife or maybe a leg of a chair or a table or was it that he had snakes and threw them at them? It's hard to tell. I'd say it was all a blur with cutlery and furniture and wildlife flying all over the place. One thing is for certain, there was a man, he had a mechanical arm, it may have been Aaron Swartz or Bradley Manning or Julian Assange. He unscrewed his hand and snakes came out and they each had a knife in their mouth and were coiled around table legs or maybe chair legs. A bitter siege ensued. Bullets were flying everywhere. The full ensemble of the Frankfurt Orchestra (circa 1937) appeared and started performing an extraordinary rendition of O Fortuna. It was very disorientating. Hank had a toothache. Cody put his pants on back to front. The dog got shot. Earl loved that dog. The Council of American-Islamic Relations showed up. They formed a human pyramid. I could've sworn somebody cut the cheese. There were broads there. Seriously hot broads. Skip said they were the hottest broads he'd ever seen. Marky got with Sharon and Sharon got Cherese. She was sharing Sharon's outlook on the topic of disease. Mikey had a facial scar and Bobby was a racist. They were all in love with dyin'. They were doing it in Texas. Tommy played piano like a kid out in the rain. Then he lost his leg in Dallas. He was dancing with a train. They were all in love with dyin'. They were drinking from a fountain that was pouring like an avalanche, coming down the mountain.

So, as I'm sure you can appreciate, difficult decisions had to be made. We had no choice but to get a bit extra-judicial. Support our troops and forget the habeas - just give us the corpse.