A SURE VOICE

(pictured – you forgot the ties guys)

Just say things in a sure voice. That's all people want. A sure voice. If people hear things in a sure voice they'll feel assured. It's all about sureness. It doesn't matter what you actually say. That stuff doesn't matter at all. People will probably know that you're lying but they won't mind as long as you sound sure. If you sound sure people will pretend to believe you even if they don't believe you. It's a kind of agreement. You are relieving people of responsibility while you do the terrible things that must be done so as they can remain in a relatively comfortable state of complacency - and not feel bad about it. You get to make the decisions because you sound sure and they get to say they believe you. If anything goes wrong then they can blame you and complain about how sure you sounded and they can say that's why they trusted you. Even though they didn't really trust you. They just pretend they trusted you because not trusting you is too much hassle. So, just pretend you're trustworthy by sounding sure. Say any old shit about why you can't eliminate poverty despite your best efforts or why people's electronic communications must be monitored at all times or why some place should be bombed to fuck. Just state the reasons, no matter how untrue, in a sure voice. Don't state the real reasons though. You don't want to be telling the truth when you're sounding sure. Everyone will think you've gone crazy, even though, deep down in a part of themselves they rarely visit, they'll know that you're telling it like it is. So, when you're sounding sure be sure to be lying. That's the trick of it. The scam that we're all a part of. It's a protocol. A mutual cognitive dissonance. A kind of play acting at civilisation, values, and compassion in a world that frequently requires the opposite of those things. Empathy and morality are dull aches that are best assuaged by a sure voice. So, if you're prepared to be the one with the sure voice you can do whatever you like. Knock yourself out. Let people starve. Kill whoever you think needs to die. Just be sure about it ...or, I mean to say, just be sure to sound sure about it.

Oh, and there's one more thing I forgot to mention, put a tie on for fuck's sake.