I THINK I WILL GO SHOPPING

Compliant revenue and data providing labour units, that's what we want. That is what we want you, the citizen, to be and that is what you, the citizen, should aspire to be. It's better for us, it's better for you, it's better for everyone . . .but . . .it's not that simple to achieve.

The trouble seems to be twofold. Firstly, you are not readily and constantly visible and could be up to anything at anytime. This hinders our ability to provide services. How can we help you live the life you want to live if we don't know what kind of life you are living? The more we know the better. Secondly, you keep secrets and these secrets are stored in your brain which is in your head and difficult for us to access. We can't get access to your head and so remain ignorant of what potential revenue generating desires reside there. Imagine it this way - the world is a shop, you are in that shop but you will not tell the shopkeeper what you want, which means he doesn't know what to put on the shelves. It is better for you if the shopkeeper knows what you want at all times. The ideal scenario would be if the shopkeeper knew you so well as to practically be able to read your mind. Imagine the super shop we could all live in if the shopkeeper could read your mind.

So, in order to make the world a super shop we need to be able to practically read your mind. For us to be able to practically read your mind we need to know EVERYTHING about you. Where you are at all times and what you are thinking at all times. To do this we need to build a profile so we can meet the needs of that profile because that is what you will ultimately be - you will be a profile.

To help you become a profile (thereby helping us make your world a super shop) we suggest the removal of the human head and its replacement with a CCTV camera. A population of CCTV camera headed people recording themselves and each other at all times will ensure that we know where you are and what you are doing. We will also know what you are thinking. You will be thinking nothing because your head will no longer have a brain and just have camera bits. Do not worry though. Thoughts will be provided for a reasonable price. You will be able to purchase these thoughts in the super shop the world will become and to which you will provide both custom and security footage. These thoughts will be transmitted straight to your CCTV head and will probably go something like: 'I think I will go shopping'.

Irresistibly yours,

G.I.T.T. (Global Initiatives Think Tank)

In other news, here's some footage of what happened in Dundrum 'Town' Centre yesterday...