AMERICAN INDEPENDENT FEATURE FILM

I’m making an American independent feature film. It’s about a girl in a heavy anorak who hangs around in woods at wintertime. She goes to a diner and orders coffee but she can’t pay so the woman who runs the place (and wears a check shirt) takes pity on her and gives her a job. The heavy anorak girl never speaks of her past to the café owning woman who wears a check shirt and the café owning woman who wears a check shirt never asks any questions but she does observe and notices a scar on the heavy anorak girl’s wrist on a rare occasion when she takes off her heavy anorak and rolls up the sleeves of her check shirt (she wears a check shirt too, under the heavy anorak).

The café owning woman who wears a check shirt is having a sexual relationship with a check shirt wearing trucker who frequently passes through but he’s no good and makes a pass at the heavy anorak girl. The café owning woman who wears a check shirt tells the check shirt wearing trucker never to come back. There is tension between the heavy anorak girl and the café owning woman who wears a check shirt for a bit after that. The heavy anorak girl offers to leave but the café owning woman who wears a check shirt says that won’t be necessary.

Then the heavy anorak girl adopts this dog she finds hanging around the bins and she takes it for walks in the woods but then the café owning woman who wears a check shirt lays rat poison and the dog eats it and dies. Then they wrap the dog in a check shirt and bury it in the woods and then the café owning woman who wears a check shirt looks at the heavy anorak girl and says ‘you know you can stay as long as you like’. Then the camera lingers on the heavy anorak girl but she says nothing and it is impossible to know what she is thinking and I won’t even tell the actress what to pretend to think and then we’ll cut to black and the film ends to music like this:

I’m thinking of casting Zooey Deschanel as the heavy anorak girl so people will be surprised and go ‘wow, she really has depth’. I’m thinking of calling the film either Margaret in Spring and Mid-Winter or Rusty Trombones.

 ALSO. . .

Speaking of films, why not check out today’s presentation on FUGGER FILM FEAST! – yes, this is a link.