BARKING

Instead of complaining we should all start barking. Barking is less taxing on the intellect than complaining and just as gratifying. Taxi drivers could bark at you when you’re sitting in the back and you could bark back in agreement. Then, when you get out of the cab, you could bark in disgust to yourself about the fare.

People could call in to talk shows and bark down the phone at the presenter who could bark back while listeners at home bark at the radio.

You could login to politics.ie and leave posts that go: ‘WOOF WOOF WOOF SNARL GROWL BARK WOOF!’ with the other forum members (guys like PragmaticCapitalist, KingsInns666, Anti-Illuminati and (un)CivilServant etc., who would all be barking too). You could write similar barking letters to the Herald or write ‘Woof!’ on toilet walls with a magic marker.

Then, satiated, you could stop barking for a while and watch a telly programme and if it’s no good you could bark about it to your spouse or whoever or go back online and leave a few barking posts about how crap it was there.

And then, as the years pass, you could get old and ill and go to hospital and bark at visiting family members about the substandard care you are receiving and then you could eventually die and get buried and your friends and family could gather around your final resting place and tilt their heads up to the heavens and howl.

I think that would be pretty neat and just as constructive. WOOF!