MORE ABOUT THE BLACKS

(pictured above: ebony and a big mad ivory lad)

So I was chatting to a few of the blacks the other day. A really decent family of blacks that moved in downstairs. It was a great chat, lovely multiculturalism to be had. They seemed to be in a hurry off. They always do. The blacks must be a busy lot, or maybe it’s just this family. I realise that not all blacks are the same. Bob Marley for example would be a very different kind of black to Robert Mugabe, even though they share the same first name.

Well anyway, the chat was going grand and I was mentioning how much I respected Nelson Mandela, Billy Ocean, and Obama and all that. ‘Oh, you get some quality blacks and no mistake’, I said to the black family and they kind of smiled and nodded. ‘Just like yourselves’, I added, ‘there’s never any trouble out of you lot and I’m delighted, only delighted, that you’ve come to stay with us here in the building’. The father black (I didn’t catch his name, probably Robert, Bob or maybe Rob) frowned in concentration and stared at me like he was really listening to what I was saying, which was great because that meant we were really integrating. Ebony and ivory and all that. I actually sang a few bars of that to their little fella in the pram but he made strange with me and started crying a bit so I stopped. ‘He’ll settle in’, I reassured his parents.

I asked the blacks if they enjoyed the Christmas. Then I stopped myself and asked them, ‘actually do blacks have Christmas because when I was little my mam told me Santa didn’t go to the hot countries?’
The father black narrowed his eyes thoughtfully and said, ‘Santa doesn’t exist’.
I put my finger to my lips and indicated to the little fella in the pram. The father said nothing more on the matter and just opened the door and ushered his family outside.

‘Ebony and ivory eh?’, I shouted after them as they rushed off. ‘Living in perfect harmony’, I added and gave them the thumbs up. Then the father stopped and turned and he beckoned me over. So over I went and doesn’t he give me a right slap on the head.
Whack!
Jesus, well, I wasn’t sure what to make of that at all. ‘Ah now', I said rubbing my ear, ‘what was that about? Did I say something to offend you?’
‘No Mister Fugger’, said the father black, ‘but you have posted this kind of thing before and we are growing tired of the repetition on your blog. If you can’t think of anything to write maybe you just shouldn’t post at all.’
‘Yes’, piped up the mother black, ‘it’s no wonder you get a fraction of the hits Twenty Major used get’.
‘Twenty Major, now there was a blogger’, agreed the father and then they went on their way.
‘I’m calling the Immigration Control Platform!’ I roared after them angrily.
‘Call who you like’, the father black shouted back, ‘we moved here from Cork you stupid prick’.

Well, in conclusion, I have to say that I've no recollection of writing about the blacks BEFORE and it was a nasty slap that one gave me but at least I got a blog post out of it so I suppose the blacks aren’t all bad, even when they are from fuckin Cork.

AH, THE WORLD’S GONE MAD!

(pictured above: troublesome British youths. I’m not racist or anything but note the black)

See those riots in England? I blame the parents. You can imagine them can’t you? Cheap jewellery and tracksuits. The type that keep telling passers by to ‘jog on’. They’re too lazy to leave the house and go earn a wage so they send their kids out to loot places like MFI and Debenhams. ‘Bring us back some perfume and a Blue Ray DVD player and some loo roll and a Walls Viennetta and a packet of fags’, they tell the kids and off the kids go. I reckon the police should climb on the roofs of their houses and put snakes down the chimney. I’m serious. All kinds of snakes: rattlers, cobras and even massive things like boa constrictors. Then, when the parents come running from the house because of what’s slithering out the fireplace, the cops on the roof should drop anvils on their heads. Yeah! You read it right! Anvils! Like you see in the cartoons. Right on their heads. That’ll sort the parents out. That’ll stop them moaning about the ‘yoof centre’ being shut down.

I put that on politics.ie earlier today. The lads agreed with me. Then we started talking about unemployed people in general. KingsInns666 said they should be made sign on the sex offender register to get their dole. The shame would act as an incentive to find work. Not a bad idea that.

And there was another interesting thread on there started by StraightTalkinIreland (a very astute poster IMO). It was about the blacks setting off Chinese lanterns on the Luas. Did you hear about that? They do it for the laugh like. FOR THE LAUGH! I’m not being racist or anything but they probably get a Chinese lantern allowance from the state. Paid for with OUR TAXES!!!

Ah, sure what’s the point going on about it? No one’s listening anyway. No one listens to common sense anymore. The world’s gone mad.