EVER DAFTER!

Once upon a time,

...everyone woke up and moved their lips to speak but the only sound that came out was the sound of a klaxon. An alarming, blaring, enraging, fucking klaxon.

And everyone cleared their throats, but it did no good.

And everyone rinsed out their mouths, but it did no good.

And everyone sucked a lozenge, but it did no good.

And everyone was very unhappy because they thought they would never get the chance to insult each other again.

So everyone went on the internet, to type their insults into cyberspace, but when they placed their hands on their keyboards everyone saw that their fingers had turned into logs of shit. Ten logs of shit was all they had, five per hand. And everyone was startled to see their shit fingers and everyone screamed, but all they emitted was a terrible klaxon sound.

So there everyone was, honking and weeping in front of computers that were covered in shit.

But after a while, everyone adjusted because people can adjust to anything. The human race is a very adaptable species.

And in no time at all, it felt like nothing had ever changed and everyone just carried on. Instead of insulting each other they just honked at each other and instead of typing callous and cruel remarks into the internet, they just smeared shit all over their computer screens.

And they lived happily ever dafter.

ThE EnD.

TALKING ABOUT A SKELETON ON THE INTERNET

They were talking about a skeleton on the internet all week. They said that someone found a skeleton. They all seemed very excited about the skeleton and got quite worked up about the skeleton. They had arguments about the skeleton. They competed to see who knew the most about the skeleton. They attempted to successfully guess whose skeleton it is (who the skeleton used to be). They said they felt sorry for the skeleton. They went to great lengths to prove that it was they who pitied the skeleton the most. They exhibited the depths their skeletal compassion and earned 'likes'. Then they turned against the skeleton. They said that it was probably an immigrant's skeleton. They said the skeleton should be fined. They said the skeleton should be privatised. Then they spread a rumour that the government was going to introduce a skeleton tax. Then they said that they wished the government were skeletons. Then they added that skeletons couldn't do a worse job than the current government. Then they got worried that the country is actually run by a secret cabal of skeletons. Finally they said they were sick of hearing about skeletons and they asked what kind of country it is anyway, what with all the skeletons everywhere. They seemed angry that there was even a skeleton in the first place. Or maybe they didn't really care about the skeleton and were just a bit bored and unhappy. It's hard to say. They might have been skeletons too.