ONCE UPON A TIME – DEATH!

 

Once upon a time, humanity ceased to be. Well, it didn’t really cease to be, but everyone thought it did because the news made a terrible mistake. Everyone in the world lay down around the place as if they were dead. They spread out their limbs at funny angles and shut their eyes.

Religious people waited to be taken to the afterlife, but no tunnel of light came for them. Atheists waited to be eaten by worms, but the worms showed no interest. Everyone just waited and waited and then they got hungry and they got cold and some had to take a piss.

After a while, a little boy jumped to his feet and said “let’s pretend we’re alive.” The little boy’s mammy told him to lay back down because he was dead, but the little boy said “I know I’m dead, I’m just playing that I’m alive.” Then a little girl stood up to play too.

Soon, all the children were on their feet and then most of the adults. It seemed that they had found a ‘get out’ clause in this death business. You could pretend to be alive. So, almost everyone went back to doing what they did before they thought they were dead.

However, some people remained on the ground as if dead and were very cross with those who had gotten up for not being dead properly. Some of those on the ground were tempted to join in the pretending to be alive game, but they dared not. It seemed naughty.

Eventually, the people who were pretending to be alive scooped up the people who thought they were dead and put them in caskets and put the caskets in the earth. The people who thought they were dead did not protest. They were happy enough under the soil. It seemed correct.

You see, even though the people who thought they were dead were about to be really dead, due to being buried alive, they felt they were coming out on top. The way they reasoned it, being dead is safer than being alive because being alive will get you killed one day. FIN!