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Saturday, January 18, 2014

THE HOUSE OF THE LORD



Inequality is a good thing because it ‘incentivizes’ people to try harder. I have big house and you have no house. You should look at my big house and want a big house and try harder to get a big house. You can start by getting a little house. How you do this is by working for me and helping me generate wealth. My house will get bigger but so will yours until it is the size mine was when you first saw it and wanted it. However, seeing as my house is now even bigger again, you will want yours to be even bigger. You will not rest until your house is as big as my house which it will never be because I had a head start but this inequality is not a bad thing because it will ‘incentivize’ you to keep trying and God loves a trier. Everyone wants to be loved by God so, you see, inequality is not just a good thing but a spiritual thing too.

You can get closer to God by working hard for a bigger house. Your house will grow in direct proportion to the favour with which God regards you. Unless, that is, I get you involved in some kind of crazy crypto-Ponzi scheme and you completely lose your house in your effort to make it bigger. If this happens don’t worry. You’ll be back to square one and you’ll try even harder and God will like you even more when you get back to where you were, going forward.

Of course, eventually our houses will grow to such enormous sizes that there will only be room for one. Mine. My house will be so massive that there will be no more room on the planet for yours or anyone else’s but don’t worry about this either. By this stage my house will be so heavy it will cause the Earth to tip over and spin into a polar shift. Our species will be wiped out but another will eventually evolve and emerge from the debris and start the whole routine all over again as we watch from above, dwelling together in the largest house of them all - the house of the Lord.

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