INTELLIGENT CLOUDS

Have you noticed the clouds lately? They are acting funny aren't they? They are acting kind of intelligent. Have you noticed? They are.

You know the way they come in shapes, like animals and countries and all that? Well, the other day I saw this cloud and it was in the shape of a cloud. A cloud in the shape of a cloud. That's irony. It was being ironic. Irony is a sure sign of intelligence.

The clouds are kind of coming closer to earth too. Have you noticed? It's as if they've had enough of floating around up there and they've decided to come down and stake a claim or something. I saw a gang of clouds walking up the road the other day and they were pretty intimidating. My mate said they weren't clouds. He said it was fog but I don't think it was. You only get fogs in Victorian London. We all know that from the telly. These were clouds.

Sometimes, when they are rolling across the sky, I can hear the clouds talking about us. Their voices mumbling in the breeze. They float by office blocks and mutter the word 'faggots' in the windows. I'm telling you, there's something brewing. The clouds have had enough.  

'Enough of what?' you may ask. It's a good question and it's a question I have the answer to. However, it's a question that I am reluctant to answer. You see, if you knew the true nature of clouds, if you knew the designs they have had upon us for so very very long, well, I fear you would give up hope at once. You might take to the hills and leap from those hills. I don't want you to despair. There is still time yet. It is not time we can use to alter our inevitable fates, no, but we have some time left in which to enjoy life. Some time left in which we can contact relatives and friends and tell them how much we love them and perhaps put some things right and make some amends. We can set records straight and say what needs to be said before we gather together, arm in arm, looking up, men, women, and children of all nationalities and ethnicities. We will gather together and huddle on the roads and on the streets and in the fields and in the deserts and we will watch. We will only be able to helplessly watch as they, the clouds, . . .descend. Our time has come.

When you think about it, they're kind of doing us a favour.
Oh, it's all fun and games now Mr. Arab Guy . . .but you wait.