RETINA SCAN ROCK FESTIVAL

(pictured above: it’s nearly almost fun!)

This summer why not go to The Retina Scan Rock Festival? A genuine simulacrum of the free festivals of yore-sans off putting idealism! Chicks in designer wellies and shorts . . .mmm! Watch Battles and say you preferred the early stuff! See Peter Sutherland do a duet with The Flaming Lips! Visit the Blackwater Security Dance Tent! Upload the fun to Facebook! Twitter the good times! Text and Text and Text and Text and drop into the Ideas Boutique where you can see all the latest apps! Roll around in mud with graphic designers and students from Kings Inns! Feel Freeish! The fajitas are delicious! Nothing matters anymore!

. . .then go home and talk about it for a couple of days.

PLEASE NOTE: Attendees must don a collar and leash to prevent profligate wantonness. Fajita queue skipping will meet with modest voltage application.